The Bebop Wench Project
by mirai138
Summary: Based on the Cowboy Bebop series. Another Blair Witch spoof. Jet, Ed, Spike, and Ein know true fear...


Yes, another Blair Witch Project spoof. *sigh*

The Bebop Wench Project

Ed sprawled forward through the hallways of the Bebop as fast as humanly possibly, occasionally looking back into the shadows to see what was there. Eventually, feeling sure that she had finally lost the object pursuing her, Ed stopped to catch a breath of air. As she leaned over, hands on her knees, she asked Ein in between deep gasps, "What…was…that?" Ein only panted back in reply. Ed decided that it would not be a bad idea to head over to Jet's room. She was confident that Jet would be capable of kicking the butt of this thing any day and protect her and Ein. "Come on Ein," she commanded the dog, having caught her breath.

Spike inhaled and exhaled in long, deep strokes while randomly muttering something incomprehensible from his dreams. He was very much disconnected with the world around him until something creaked from the corner of his room. In less than a second, he jolted up, pulled a gun out from under his pillow, and aimed it at a shadow in the corner. Before he had time to block against an oncoming charge, the creature previously sulking in the corner pounced on him. "What the @$%*!" Spike screamed. They thrashed about struggling to get at each other's throats. Spike accidentally triggered his gun during this action, and a single shot cut into the ceiling panel. Spike, seeing the creature startled by this, pushed the thing off him and took the opportunity to run towards Jet room. He had to warn him of the intruder. 

The ringing gun shot aroused Jet from his previously undisturbed slumber. "@$%*!" He cursed as he reached for his gun on a table next to his bed. He did not brad the gun though, but instead, something warm and squishy. "Hmm," he thought squeezing the object a bit, "this isn't my gun…" He looked over to see what he had caught in his hand. "Ahhh!" He yelled, seeing Ed make funny face light up with her flashlight as one of his fingers poked into her eye. "Oh Edward. You scared the @$%* out of me." He exhaled, relieved.

"There's something on this ship," Ed said cryptically.

Just then, the door to Jet's room burst open. Jet jumped up out of bed, placing Ed behind him, gripped his gun, and pointed at the doorway. An out of breath Spike hurried in, slamming the door behind him. He breathed short, quick breaths as he leaned back to rest against the door. He reached down and fumbled with the knob until it was locked.

"Spike! What the @$%*!" Jet exclaimed, quite surprised.

Ed stepped out from behind Jet. "Ed is scared!"

"Something @$%*ing attack me," Spike told them. 

"What the @$%* was it?" Jet asked curiously.

"Oh yeah! @$%*, I took the time while it was strangling me to stare into its pretty @$%*ing eyes, Jet!"

"Alright alright. There's no need to get so @$%*ing worked up."

Ein barked as something from the outside of the room rammed into the door. Temporarily frightened (imagine that), Spike leaped away from the door, placing himself closer to Jet and Ed. The creature kept on repeatedly attempting to break down the door.

Ed began to shake from her overwhelming fear and, being so frightened, dropped her flashlight. In the process of struggling to pick it up, she accidentally kicked it into a nearby wall, breaking the bulb. The room went completely black.

"What the @$%* is going on here!" Spike shouted.

Ed stared wide-eyed into the darkness. Ein whimpered.

Jet pulled his cigarette lighter out of his pants pocket. He flicked the trigger, illuminating his face with the soft, yellow light. He then started to cry. "This is all my fault! This is all my fault! I brought them here! I brought them here out into space on the Bebop! Forgive me."

The slamming against the door subsided. But a strange moaning noise ensued in its place.

"What the @$%* is that!"

"@$%*! It's all @$%*ing around us!" Spike noted listening closely.

"@$%*! @$%*!" Jet screeched in fear.

"Oh no! Ed's poor computer!" Ed realized that she had left her computer alone in the darkness of the Bebop. "Ed has to go get it!"

"Are you out of your @$%*ing mind! Just forget the @$%* about it!" Jet put his arm around her waist to keep her from running out of the room.

Ein barked even louder than before. The slamming against the door ensued, slowly breaking the hinges, until the door came crashing down into the room. Everyone inside dashed to the opposite wall, put their backs to it, and braced for the worst. A dark figure lingered in the doorway. Finally, it reached over and flicked on the light switch.

The group screamed and the hideous monstrosity before them. The foulest of all creatures. A demon. A wench uglier than any other.

"@$%*! We're all gonna die!" Spike shrunk down, putting his hands over his head to protect himself.

"Oh, shut up! Where's my make-up?" Faye asked, annoyed at Spike's reaction to her make-up free face.


End file.
